throughout the show, you'll find questions meant to help you reconnect with yourselves (that's the idea). i wrote these questions as a way to just fucking calm down for a minute. like, "sit down, bagus. take a break and maybe write, think even! maybe share some thoughts outside of instagram."

everything in my life now moves so fast, it’s all so disposable, my actions are fear-based, everything is consumed in seconds. it's never enough days. never enough direct deposits. i always wanted more.

i used to text "[insert name] how are you babe?" but now it’s just "hru". when did we stop calling our loved ones by their names? seems like a lot of work. but that's the problem, isn't it? i don't have the time to just stop. it’s insane. i refuse to believe i was born to just work, worry, and sometimes grab a $5 coffee, and then the tips. there has to be more.

so when i saw the sheet pans about to be tossed out from the commercial kitchen i worked at, i asked if i could take them. probably could do something with them. they might take up a lot of space, or they might be fun. it was the former at first, but when i started pouring paints, i thought "lol, this is it. it's so chill this is indeed my kind of art". and it is. this is my kind of art.

today, as you stare at these messed up sheet pans, i just want you to stay still just for a second or two. it doesn't really matter what they mean to you; they certainly don't matter to me except that the process of making them brought up so many questions i was "too busy to answer". these questions helped me reconnect with myself, some were dumb, embarrassed, made me realize and made me cry. they're here so you can think about them too. perhaps you can share them with someone in the room, or later when you get home. if you want. honestly, i don't care. i just hope you felt something today. whatever it is. thank you again for coming.

take care, bagus